Baby Now (an excerpt)

Day 10: His four white walls became my escape. His skin became my calm, his eyes a forest green and brown I longed to get lost in every time I slipt back into reality. It was happening fast so I didn’t let him touch me in ways that mattered. When it was time to sleep I faced the wall once again and drowned out the sound of his breath with Bon Iver, counted the seconds til I lost consciousness.


Back then I was a runaround

a local gypsy bouncing between walls

to find magic wherever I could-

desperate times called for desperate

pleasures and I felt neither shame

nor fulfillment.


Day 20: After the first time the sincerity of his soul seeped through my rib cage, he forgave me for being broken. Broken down, broken hearted, just plain fuckin broken. He forgave me before he even cared to. The forest of his eyes quickly felt like a home I wanted to dwell in. I wanted to hike every goddamn mile and leave no stone unturned.


Since, he has

taken the cliché out of forever,

written my emotions in a chart

to cross out once he solves ‘em.

my mind is a minefield and he

can dodge the ammunition like

I have never seen before and so

he teaches me how to do the same.


Day 365: He knows me like the back of his hand. I have his forest eyes mapped out on paper, I have marked every trail with a different color. I have painted the trees. Baby you make me want to put time in a capsule and save it for later when time used to turn me to a cynic. I want to live on this earth for as long as you can hold me. I want to shamelessly unravel in the palm of your hand every time I am forced to feel. You took my broken pieces and taped them back together in a way that they work. You are the team my dreams have held from me up until the first time your lips became more than just lust and whispers. Baby now I stand on treetops and scream your name.



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